"Bad Decisions Make Good Stories"
"Bad Decisions Make Good Stories"
Outdoor writer, retired warden and old soldier Bill Crisp's outdoor columns can be accessed here.
Stories on all types of fishing, hunting, mushrooming and access to great apparel. Bill's articles are almost funny, humor based fiction filled, non fiction stories. If we're lucky there will be tips of the trades and seasonal updates!
I 49:2 I 6:8 P 18:34
Lake Erie out from Walnut 300 degrees NW. Orange crush bandits at 50' of water (185' on 40; dipsy)
My buddy Choo Choo stopped by on a Sunday morning, I think mostly to make sure I’m drinking my coffee straight. As of this week in 2023, from November 5th on, the rut is also on. All signs indicate that the bucks will be “screaming” (completely unaware or un-caring of their location and circumstances). This gives us hunters a chance to, ah, un-wit them and so we are ready for the biggest week of archery.
I showed Chooch pics of my brothers reeling in stripers out east as this is also a hot time to get into those if you’re lucky enough to live by the Atlantic Pond. I mentioned, to him, that I may get out there soon. Then we got onto the business of preparing for the Big Woods whitetail rut. With bucks throwing all caution to the wind, finally, I have a chance.
While planning my exploits Choo Choo whistled his long troublesome whistle. “What?” I suspected there was a reason for that whistle and picked up my head like a doe that just heard me step on a stick…a thousand yards away. “Well, Mrs. C is going to be upset with you again is all I’m thinking,” Choo Choo mused. “What? What I do now? And WHY are you always on her side?” Choo got a smug grin as he leaned back in his chair. I cautioned him, “Not too far back, I’ve been meaning to fix that.”
“I’m just saying, Mrs. C mentioned that you being into hunting and fishing and all prevents you from getting any of your honey do, repair jobs done around the house.” Then he continued, “I think maybe her mother was right and she should have married that fancy lawyer,” he said as he looked around the place. Immediately, I was on the defensive and with only a straight coffee in me yet. “Now wait a minute, she knows it will all get done, these things take time. What’s six months or years in a lifetime of bliss?” Despite that perfect logic, Choo Choo stayed on the offensive, “Well, she wanted the blinds fixed last winter is all I’m saying and they still look broken to me.” “I look at that every day and I’m thinking about it and trying to find the time; it’ll get done,” I deftly parried. “I’ve been pretty busy, between the walleye run, spring gobbler, Erie season, small game, and now it’s the rut so I’ll get to it after flintlock goes out.” “That is what you said last year,” Choo Choo chuckled. I stammered, “I knocked something else off my list then.”
My buddy squinted at me, “Yeah, I think you fixed the sights on your rifle.” “That counts!” I blurted. “See? There are all kinds of maintenance items getting done around here. I also strung new braided line onto the trolling reels which required that I recalibrate the distance for the line counters, replaced an impeller on the boat, put up a new rifle target, pruned and daylighted apple trees, built a couple of new tree stands, put in a food plot, not to mention cleaning muzzle loaders takes time. I also trimmed the hedges and she asked for that specifically!” I leaned back in my most self-righteous pose and crossed my arms.
Choo Choo, seemed unimpressed; my keen senses picked that up from the eye roll, “I don’t think cutting a shooting lane through your shrubbery from the picture window to the back yard should count as yard landscaping, Mr. C.” I scoffed, “Women do not appreciate good landscaping. When deer can look into the full window, they get spooky and everyone likes to see deer in the yard!” “What about the house paint?” Chooch asked. “Priorities, young man, priorities. I’ve explained this before when a boat motor goes you lose a whole season but T-111 will be the same color for years. People do not notice a little peeling while driving by. I’ll get to it.” I had had enough of this convo so I asked, “Don’t you have someone else to harass this morning?” Choo Choo got up, “Yeah, I think my work here is done, unless you need help with the work here that isn’t not done?”
“Ah, scram.” I scoffed, “I’ll see you later, now watch your step on the porch, I’ve been meaning to replace that board…”
See you along the stream
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