Fear the Flamingo

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"Bad Decisions Make Good Stories"


About Us

Welcome to Fear the Flamingo

Outdoor writer, retired warden and old soldier Bill Crisp's outdoor columns can be accessed here.  

What you'll find here is

Stories on all types of fishing, hunting, mushrooming and access to great apparel. Bill's articles are almost funny, humor based fiction filled, non fiction stories. If we're lucky there will be tips of the trades and seasonal updates!

I 49:2 I 6:8 P 18:34

Be on the inside on what's outside!

River waters have reached Walleye spawning temps! The Fish and Boat Commission has started its pre-season trout stockings.

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The Best Days

  

It’s said that the two best days in a sportsman’s life are the day he buys a boat and the day he sells it. I just sold one of my boats and though it was a great day when I bought it, it was not a great day as it was towed away. I’m happy for the buyers and the boat though. It’s a cabin cruiser and the problem was, I’m a fisherman and it was so big, I think it scared fish away. I could not catch a bluegill off that rig. Yet it was a fun boat. My wife and family enjoyed playing on the lake from it which has created many happy memories. 

The buyer is getting a great, solid boat. He plans to fix it up and use it far more than we have been. Being that I liked the idea of catching fish off a boat, we went ahead and bought a fishing boat and have been using that one instead. Which has left, “Bertha” as we lovingly called her sitting out of water here at the farm. I couldn’t bear the thought of her going bad sitting in a field being pounded by the elements. So, Bertha found a new family that isn’t into fishing as much as playing and was happy to tow her off and make her their own. I watched her go down the road as if someone stole my puppy. However, it is all for the good of the boat and she went to some very nice people, who will enjoy her more than just admiring her gunnel lines as she sat. I’m pretty sure Bertha looked back once before she turned the corner to go off and be taken care of like she deserved though.

I hooked one fish off her. After another day of no bites and deciding to take a nap, I put the rod in the swim ladder and went to sleep. The line was well cast out and had a slip bobber and a minnow. I woke up from my nap when my wife came back aboard from one of her frolics and looked for the rod. I’m pretty used to her moving my stuff around but when I asked, she denied moving or even seeing my rod and reel! Scanning the horizon, across the bay was a lone bobber. Upon getting to the bobber, I learned that something had taken my bait. Pulled the rod out of the swim deck, even though it was well lodged in there. Dashed across the bay, towing my whole rig and then it swam around a submerged log about eight times before snapping the braided line.  

I have deduced that only a great white shark or a pike would be crazy and strong enough to do all of that. Being that we were on Kinzua, a lake rife with legends of the deep, one never knows which one it could have been. Thinking I was onto something, I tried the new fishing technique a couple more times, complete with nap, of course without so much as a nibble. A smart lake great white indeed. All I caught was my wife trying to move the rig out of her way on the swim deck. 

As for Betha and her new future, my wish and the salve for my tinge of sadness is that there are many more happy memories in her future.

See you along the stream

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